Making Room

Last night we sobbed our way through the movie “Wonder”. The movie was perfect. The story was heart wrenching but at the same time hilarious. It felt perfectly sentimental but also very realistic and the characters never felt trite.

The story centered on a boy named Auggie as he navigated his first year of middle school with facial deformities. The plot took place in middle school but the complexity of its message transcended the typical middle school saga. The kids were never reduced to one-dimensional facades of human beings in order to drive home a message but remained very multidimensional. At certain points my heart broke for the girl that I had wanted to hate and later I was totally disappointed by the middle school boy that I had grown to love.

In middle school, I am sure that I missed many opportunities to love and support people on the outside because of my own insecurities. Middle school is definitely harder than adult life but really not that much has changed. People are still placed in categories and are either “in” or “out.” Instead of being forced to go on a play date with those on the outside, our “adultness” allow us to pretty comfortably avoid all outsiders.

My parents always required us to invite one person to our birthday party that never got invited to the other kids birthday parties. During the adult Christmas party season, I feel more convicted than ever to try this practice out in my own adult life. Have I invited one person that does normally get invited out to a Christmas party over? Can I step outside of myself for one minute and remember that middle school does not really end at middle school and that there are still many lonely kid adults out there. Is there a single friend I have forgotten to include in the midst of my married-ness?

The hard part about this is that it is actually hard. I only possess a limited amount of social energy and already have barely enough time to spend with those in my inner friendship circle. But the beauty of movies like Wonder is that they remind you that if you do not make time for those on the outside- you are the one missing out.

During the craziness of this holiday season, make room in your schedule to go see this movie. Bring your kids, your parents and every teacher you have ever had. It is so worth every dollar of the ticket. (Pay for your former teacher’s ticket, because “Wonder” will remind you that teachers are truly real life saints.) Don’t just see this movie but also let’s make room in our schedules for those people that are alienated and alone. School and work are important but the relationship building that takes place during and outside of those hours is even more important. You just never know how much people are going through. It is now officially freezing outside so screw all outdoor activities and let’s find someone to get to know over coffee or a glass of wine.